Archive for the ‘Contemplate.’ Category


leave a comment »

Just a quick spitfire quip

Sometimes I get overexcited, shoot off at the lip

I have been overly consuming black mirrors

But instead of blurring, I can see what I feel clearer

Just a mere idea to get into your sphere







Take the unbreakable, unshakeable Kimmy Schmidt as a start

A comedic edict and strategic commentary about feminism,

Extreme political correctness to the point of an aneurism

Secondly Alexander Hamilton, set in 1700’s

Peeling back today’s issues like Shrek and that onion

I bet it’s pushing Donald Trump’s buttons

Immigrants, social advancement, social climbs, social suicides

Even makes a statement about race relations

So whether you’re a writer or a sculptor or a kid afraid to step out

Set it on fire with your lighter, then maybe go a different route

Imitate life and art and love and pain and sorrow

We have a part to play in shaping tomorrow

Screen Shot 2017-05-23 at 11.43.20 am.png

By Mari AndrewBy Mari Andrew

Written by Candice

May 23, 2017 at 11:44 am

Posted in Contemplate., Dream., Write.

Love Stories Series: Pilot

leave a comment »

Processed with VSCO with b5 preset

The English language only has one word for it – love, derived from Germanic forms of the Sanskrit lubh, which means desire. The Greeks think a lot about philosophy and all the big life questions, so they are a bit more specific, having at least 6 words for love – eros, philia, ludus, agape, pragma and philautia, each representing different types of love.

The next few weeks we will be delving into each type of love and sharing stories and insights into each type, through some love stories shared by real people.

A recurring theme in the love stories is that love is a choice. Not just the choice to be with someone or choosing to have someone in your life. In the small everyday choices too, like walking a kilometre to get someone chicken wings because they’re craving it, washing the dishes for someone, offering someone a seat on the train. As our modern day poet, John Mayer says, Love is a verb. You can say you love someone all you want, but if you don’t show them that, it weakens that statement. I’ve always thought that if a boy likes you, they don’t have to tell you because you’d already know. Funny side note, when my boyfriend told me he liked me for the first time, he never actually said the words ‘I like you’ and literally said, “I know you know.” What if he meant that I knew something else? Now we’ll never know.

Enjoy the first story from a real person about a real love.


My hopes and dreams for my newly found career came to this final moment. I was handing my last assessment ever for my Masters. It took 2.5 grueling years. But it was all worth it. I had sacrificed so much for it, including time for any relationships. Especially romantic ones. 

So I went to the shops to celebrate with my family. That’s when I bumped into him.

It was something straight out of a romantic comedy. First, the eye contact, clear and locked. Then the smile, like the smile you have when you’re at a restaurant and you see that your food is about to come. Then the body language, a genuine hug that says “hello friend, it’s been a while.”.

It had been a while. Ten years to be exact. The conversation was everything you could ever wish any conversation would go. There was laughter, sincere concern, and that feeling in your stomach that made you wish it could go for longer. Were they butterflies? 

Then reality kicks in. I was actually on my way to withdraw money from the bank to pay for something at the shop I left 30 minutes ago because their eftpos machine wasn’t working. Guess who worked at that bank? He did. Was it fate? Or just a coincidence? Knowing we had to part ways, I was a little saddened at the thought that I may never see him again. But like I said, this conversation was perfect. So we parted with him saying, “Hey, I hope to see you around more.” I smiled back. Me too, I thought. Me too. 

I couldn’t help but laugh at the timing. The day I had officially finished my Masters was the day I may have met “the one”. Was it really that magical? 

Failing to keep him off my mind, I tried to take matters in my own hand. Thank God for Facebook, I did some light stalking. We all do it right? But before I got in too deep, a message notification comes up on my laptop. Oh my gosh.




It was him. Blood rushed straight to my face, and my heart raced as I try to keep it cool and casual. He said, “Hey! It was nice bumping into you the other day.”. I said “Oh hey, I totally forgot we were Facebook friends! Dude, it was good seeing you too!”. Well played, well played. 

And so it began. Our short messages turned into long ones. I looked forward to his essay-like replies to mine. Then we started sending good morning/good night messages. It was becoming your typical online relationship. 

I was genuinely happy to get to know him again. Ten years was a long time and a lot had changed. I met him as a good friend’s boyfriend. Although they’ve broken up since, he was one of the first guy friends I had that I really got along with. So I was really thrilled to have this friendship back. But of course, I was open to having something more. 

One night, he was attending a friend’s wedding. He started messaging me saying he thought of me. Was this really it?  I started getting butterflies in my stomach.  The same ones I had that time I bumped into him. Could it really be destiny? 

After some photos of the wedding food, and flirty messages coming back and forth, I asked him how he knew the newly wedded couple. And he says, “My girlfriend is friends with the bride.”

His girlfriend. 

Heart aches are real because you can literally feel your heart breaking inside. You can literally feel it pulling apart slowly and excruciatingly. And no amount tears, words of comfort could stop it from tearing. 

Screen Shot 2017-03-16 at 5.47.12 pm

After a while, I became disillusioned with the idea that I was better than her. That the reason why he talked to me, especially in that way, was that I could give him something she obviously couldn’t. So, with a lot of shame, I still tried. I thought that what we have is so much better. That his reason to lie was because he was unhappy. So I sought for the truth but he couldn’t answer me. Eventually, I realised that he couldn’t give me what I wanted, even though I was willing to give him anything he needed. 

No, it wasn’t fate, or destiny. It was a lesson, one I had to learn before I met the real one.

When I stopped being interested in other girls

unnamed (1)

Preview: With a tear running down her eye, turn to me and say, “My future now looks more bright with you here.” I mean, come on man! I didn’t have any intention of hurting any of them emotionally, but how do you tell a girl, “You’re just one of a few”?

Check out the next 2 Love Stories on Wednesday 3 May at 3pm AEST

Written by Candice

April 26, 2017 at 2:55 pm

Love Stories: Trailer

leave a comment »

The first post of my first series Love Stories will be released on Wednesday, April 26 and run every Wednesday for a few months on the topic of LOVE.

Some of my favourite questions to ask couples is “How did you get together? How did you know the other was the “one””. But there are a lot of love stories untold – stories of parents loving their kids, of trying to love yourself, of the loved and lost, of the one-sided love.

It is undeniable that love plays a huge role in the world, being the muse for song, film, and novels. Although we sing, act and write about it so much, love is hard to describe. It can feel like a warm hug. A tug on your heart. Butterflies in your stomach. An all-consuming grief. Peace. You can only feel it for yourself. And then tell stories about it.

Here’s one I (and a friend of mine) prepared earlier. Ok this one isn’t really a story, it’s just a mate talking about love.

There wasn’t a single moment, it was little subtle realisations over time. We were constantly pushing each other to be stronger, more out of our comfort zones and closer to our goals. We’ve both grown together in maturity and life experiences and I think that’s when you know.

Your partner shouldn’t complete you. You can stand on your own two feet, but I feel it’s more of a “together you can both collectively achieve more and find happiness together” mindset. Everyone has a different personality type based on so many criteria, but over time you know who you align with, understand their love language, etc. Certain personality dynamics bring out the best in each other. 

Preview: I couldn’t help but laugh at the timing. The day I had officially finished my Masters was the day I may have met “the one”. Was it really that magical? 

Written by Candice

April 13, 2017 at 3:18 pm


leave a comment »

This is really contrary to a few posts ago, talking about shining days. Let’s chat about the drudgery of the everyday grey days. You are probably in it now – the same day as yesterday, which won’t change tomorrow, counting down until the weekend or your holiday or your birthday.

Maybe these are the days that will make us holy or happy or fulfilled. It’s not a life to just always be looking forward to the highs. Maybe a better way to live is to see the beauty and the love in the drudgery and our experience of that moment will be heightened and made beautiful.

Have a beautiful, ordinary day.


Written by Candice

February 28, 2017 at 12:35 pm

Blurred Lines

with one comment

I often give ladies  (and even gentlemen to tell ladies and to keep in mind themselves) advice to keep boundaries. I’m not going to pretend that I’m perfect in this, knowingly and unknowingly, I’ve cheekily toed the line or defiantly taken a step over. But more and more I’ve realized how important it is to make and maintain some boundaries.

People overstep boundaries, despite knowing it is wrong or that they can get hurt . Why? A lure they can’t deny? Fear of loss or loneliness? Boredom? The thrill? To fulfil the need to be needed?

So then, let’s discuss: What is a boundary? Why do we need them?


If boundaries are not built and the land is Terra Nullius,  will anything remain special? This goes beyond just anything physical. Secrets, rituals, special places will lose their specialness lol because it has already been done. This post feels a bit familiar. 

It’s the loving thing to do to guard the heart of someone else too. Sometimes they don’t know they need it or can’t do it themselves. Setting healthy boundaries are a sign of positive self-respect and conveys that the builder (let’s call him Bob) will not allow people to define them. It is also a positive defence mechanism protecting Bob against manipulation or being used.

Why do I find interest in this topic, especially on Valentine’s Day? Apparently suicide rates tend to rise in this period as well as the rate for filing for divorce. It is natural for people to want to be loved, valued and needed. This is a good desire. But often in trying to fulfil this desire, we go to unhealthy sources for validation or are in a rush to feel something or have skewed expectations to fulfil this desire,

If you’re being asked to lower your walls, sometimes it is good for you. But when you are asked to compromise your values and what you’re comfortable with, then maybe have a think – would this person still be around if you asked them to respect your boundaries? Sadly, the answer is sometimes no. So should you be with this person? I’m going to hazard a guess and say, move on.

One thing I am really adamant about is best friends of the opposite sex. I don’t think it can work. Friends for sure – I am mates with lots of guys. But best friends? Come on. One is in love with the other, even if they don’t know it. We need boundaries in lots of things, particularly in romantic relationships.

And God said, “Let there be a vault between the waters to separate water from water.” So God made the vault and separated the water under the vault from the water above it. And it was so.

The story of creation in Genesis is a story of creating boundaries. Separating light and dark, water and earth, woman from man. This implies then, that boundaries are good. Boundaries prevent  us from reaching beyond our limits and hurting ourselves. But, even the first humans broke boundaries by eating an apple they weren’t supposed to. People often see boundaries as a hindrance, when sometimes they are in fact good (This is not to say all boundaries are good. Open up, glass ceiling). But if we really think about it, it can be freeing – freeing from unhealthy and unworthy and hurt.

So if you think your boundaries are a little bit blurred, then have a think about where you want your boundaries and what you are protecting, what you value.

Written by Candice

February 14, 2017 at 11:55 am

Posted in Contemplate.

Tagged with ,

Numbered days

with one comment

I quit my job at the end of 2016 before accepting any job offers. I went overseas, celebrated Christmas and when 2017 rolled around, I still didn’t apply for jobs. Instead I slept, drew, tanned at the beach, spent more time with my dog, watched the whole Gilmore Girls series, cooked dinner. It was a good life. tumblr_na9pyyt82v1r7k95zo1_500


I thought that I wouldn’t get bored. I didn’t have to wake up at a certain time 5 days a week and I could fill my whole day doing the things I wanted to do. But after awhile, the unexpected happened. I became bored and restless.

After I landed a job, I started working and enjoying the 9-5 grind. Then came the weekend. Shining with promise, opportunity and sleep-ins and I remembered the TGIF feeling. Weekends weren’t as exciting when everyday felt like a weekend. Don’t get me wrong, I am so glad I took the time to rest before going back into work, but I had had enough rest.

When days are numbered, do they become more beautiful? Because they don’t just exist infinitely, but we make them beautiful, we insist on meaning and lustre in between the grey of every day. Usually when we think about our time on earth, we freak out or get all “Carpe Diem” or , more colloquially YOLO.

Consider a lifetime of endless balmy days and pleasure. Would each day be considered beautiful? Would we appreciate each day? Would it lose the shine in its monotony? If everyday was a shining day, would it just be a day? I don’t think it would lose its beauty, but it would be lost in our capacity to appreciate its beauty.

Apparently Aristotle thought and spoke a lot about happiness and in relation to it, balance or temperance. This is what is fondly referred to as “The Goldilocks Theory“. Basically, it theorises that the middle of two extremes is desirable. Between the excess and shortage. We don’t want porridge that is too hot or too cold. But porridge that is “just right”. Same with free time or sleep or food. We need the middle ground or this is the most desirable. Maybe even money or happiness. Studies suggest that up to a certain level of income, there is little increase in satisfaction.  Blow the threshold, people are “unhappy”, but once it reaches this ceiling, people are maxed out on happiness.

Teach us to number our days and recognise how few they are; help us to spend them as we should

So maybe that’s what we need to strive for, that elusive middle ground. Will that make us happier? Maybe. Maybe it will even encourage us to give ourselves a break. We don’t have to live large every day or quench an unnecessary hunger. We may even find that the glittery days are extended as we reminisce and appreciate those days more.

Grey days invite us to experience glitter again, prolonging and extending the experience.

– Tails Bigornia

Written by Candice

February 7, 2017 at 1:49 pm

Prepare The Way

with one comment

My mindset for the past month has been all this: prepare. From preparing for a fundraising event, to preparing to leave a job that I’ve been at for five and  a half years (14 days of work left!) to preparing for new service for 2014. This has left very little time and little space in my mind to prepare for Christmas. So far I’ve only bought a grand total of: 3 presents. But more than that, I hadn’t really been preparing myself emotionally, mentally or spiritually for Christmas. Other than the little devotional “Behold” that was made available at my parish (which I recommend, the reflections go off).

This really hit me last Saturday during a thanksgiving mass where the CFC choir sang a song called “Prepare the Way”. A title very fitting for Advent. But it was the chorus that really struck me – “Make ready your heart, make ready your home, make ready the people of God.”

The word prepare is a command, a constant action. The word seems so busy, but really, when I thought about it, it felt like the state of busy was manufactured or easily manipulated. The word has no end goal or deadline or sometimes just a very vague word for looking busy. The word seemed really weak.

But maybe it’s because I compared it to the phrase “make ready”. It’s so definitive and strong – don’t just prepare, prepare to a state that is ready, to a state that it is at the best it can be to experience or face whatever is coming.

It’s kinda like when you go to a gig of a band you like. You like their songs, know a couple of them really well, but there are so many songs on so many albums that you don’t know. Come the gig, you die when the band performs the songs you love, dance and sing the only three lines  you in the chorus of the songs you kinda know and nod or mosh or tap your foot politely to the beat of the songs you don’t know. At the end of the night, you’re (usually) satisfied, usually a bit disappointed they didn’t play that song, but all in all had a really good night.

But if you had prepared a bit better, you would have known more of the songs. Maybe known all the songs and all lyrics. Maybe, if you love knowing song meanings like my sister and I, you could have even understood how and why certain songs came about – the inspiration, the break up, the girl the lead singer wrote the song about. In a non-stalkerish way, of course. Maybe (especially if you’re a muso, which I sadly am not) you would have seen that, “Hey they don’t do that into in the album version” or “Man, he really nailed that solo”. Maybe if we prepared more, we would have been able to appreciate the gig so much more.

So, how to make ready our hearts, home or people for the coming of Christ. I guess a big part of it is just spending time with Him – daily mass, adoration, reading the daily readings and reflections available. Contemplating this time with His mother, praying the rosary, imagining the events that were unfolding in front of her eyes. And also, mirroring His love. Society’s is telling us that $$ is the way to show love this season. And it can be! But when we give, let’s not give with a selfish, stressed or disgruntled “Oh I just have to give this person something” / “Man, I don’t wana spend that much on this person” heart. Let’s give lovingly and generously. Let’s give the unselfish, non-refundable  gift of time. And let’s give the gift of ourselves. It sounds really lame, but in this time when Our Almighty God gave Himself, in flesh and blood, to us in a stable in Bethlehem, what better way can we prepare ourselves than to imitate Him?

Written by Candice

December 11, 2013 at 8:59 am

Posted in Contemplate.

Tagged with ,