Call a spade a spade and rape a rape

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Over the weekend I read about a girl who was raped and the boy who did it was sentenced to six months jail time and probation as well as being added to the Sex Offenders list. She wrote a powerful letter, which she read to the defendant at trial.

It’s so crazy to me that in a lot of news stories that I have been reading (signs that I am growing up: I am reading the news. Although I still don’t know much about politics, except that I don’t like Duterte and Trump) the important part of the news story has been overshadowed by incidentals.

In this story, people are highlighting the fact that she was drunk, that she doesn’t even remember what happened, that the boy was on a swimming scholarship at college and therefore disclosed his swimming times, that he was an aspiring Olympian, his dad said that he was being punished for 20 mins vs 20 years of his life and his childhood friend defended him saying he could not have possibly raped someone because he was such a sweet boy when they were young and that there’s a problem with political correctness and the rape culture.

In the Cincinnati Zoo case, it was that the parents were “negligent” or the zoo enclosure wasn’t sufficient.

While these are all important factors, these aren’t the most important thing. The college boy (boy because I don’t think I can quite call him man) raped someone. And in the zoo case, a human life is of greater value than the animal life (One great point someone made to me is that hardly anyone said that the boy should have died, just that the gorilla should not have). I’m not going to discuss the gorilla case further here, I just found it interesting. If these incidentals were not the same, would the fact that a person was raped also change?

A lack of response does not equate to a yes. The woman was unconscious when he ripped off her panties and sexually assaulted her. He only stopped because two men came by and noticed she was unconscious. Apparently one of the men were crying because of the gravity of the scene he had witnessed.

I understand where the father and friend are coming from. They’ve seen this boy grow up and expect certain behaviour of him. A good person is still capable of bad things. The father says his son is now not himself and he has been deeply affected. Was he deeply affected because he was caught or because he recognises that what he did was wrong? He says his son can’t even eat or sleep. How about the girl he assaulted? How do you think she would have been affected? She said that she needs to sleep with a night light now. I’m a bit grateful that she doesn’t remember because she may be even more traumatised. What if those men hadn’t come to save her?

The sentence that was given to your son was less than the time between the rape and the conviction. So yes, this may have “just” been 20 minutes, but this girl will have these scars for life. And if he hadn’t been caught? Would he have done it again? Would it have been 20 minutes x 2girls in the future, or x 20 or x 200? Even though this was “only” 20 minutes of his life, how much of his life did he think / does he think that it is acceptable to have sex with a girl that is not conscious?

Brock Turner has still not admitted that he raped her. (???!!!)

If this had happened to the father or friends daughter or sister, would they be so forgiving? What message are we saying to other young men if we defend the actions of this boy?

I don’t know the philosophy behind why it’s wrong. But in contemplating, when rape occurs, it not only puts someone’s need over someone’s rights, the rapist views another person as a mere object or tool to accomplish a “need”. Like a hammer that is used to nail an object or a spoon to feed us.

Is there any circumstance that rape would be right?

“A person’s rightful due is to be treated as an object of love, not as an object for use.”

― St John Paul the Great, Love and Responsibility

We can’t just combat the effects of this unfortunate culture we live in, but we need to look at ways at preventing. We need to teach our kids what is right and wrong and why it is right and wrong instead of defending them when they do something wrong. We need to teach them that there are consequences for our actions. We can also teach them that this is not the end for the rapist or the victim. There is a chance to redeem, forgive and heal. There is a chance to learn what is right and make amends. Parents, I have a lot of hope in you. Let’s teach our children well.


Written by Candice

June 7, 2016 at 9:21 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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