Contra Bida

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I didn’t want to leave a sour taste on my blog for too long so I was itching to blog asap. So for this blog, let us delve into the characters of the “Good guy” and the “Bad Guy”. Actually, I won’t limit this – I have seen guys attracted to the “Bad Girl” too.

We all know the type. Attitude, smouldering gaze, no cares, no fear. Callousness, impulsive behavior, extroversion, narcissism… And a bevy of suitors that flock to their side vying for their attention.

Reasearcher Peter Jonason says “We would traditionally consider these dark triad traits to be adverse personality traits, and we think women would avoid these kinds of men, but what we show is counterintuitive — that women are attracted to these bad boys …”

So do nice guys / gals always finish last?

I could illustrate this with two examples:

  1. Real life – two of my tutors. My finance tutor is soooo incredibly good looking, smart, down-to-earth, focused and perfectly sweet. My audit tutor isn’t as good looking, also very smart, down-to earth and driven but has an air of arrogance. Guess who is more attractive as a whole? Yepppp audit teacher.
  2. Gossip girl – 1st season at least. Ceteris paribus, would you rather be the good guy, who seemed to be Dan Humphrey or resident bad boy, Chuck Bass? I loved the loney boy Dan Humphrey until he inevitably made a mistake, causing disappointment and his fall from my good graces. On the other hand, Chuck Bass who did everything wrong then upon performing one good deed, surprises everyone and causes butterflies in the abdominal area.

So why are we attracted to the bad?

  • We have a nuturing characteristic and think that our “love” can change them?
  • We like drama and excitement?
  • On a related note, to feel like a more exciting person because they bring out a wildness in us?
  • We want acceptance and want to be considered as “cool” as they are?
  • Unresolved daddy / mummy issues?
  • We aren’t ready to settle down so get into something that will obviously not work?
  • We don’t know what we want.

I think that eventually we will get tired and outgrow our lust for the bad boys and all the bad girls and just want a real love. Hopefully when it comes down and smacks us in the face, we’ll recognise it, appreciate it, bask in it. I hope that the real love shared by partners inspires each other to be better and inspires others to find a love as true.

Now—see how the desires of a man’s heart and the desires of a woman’s heart were at least meant to fit beautifully together.  A woman in the presence of a good man, a real man, loves being a woman. His strength allows her feminine heart to flourish.  His pursuit draws out her beauty.  And a man in the presence of a real woman loves being a man. Her beauty arouses him to play the man, it draws out his strength.  She inspires him to be a hero.

– John & Stasi Eldredge


Written by Candice

September 17, 2010 at 2:42 pm

Posted in Think.

One Response

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  1. love etttt!!!!!! :):):)


    September 17, 2010 at 7:21 pm

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