All I Have To Do Is Dream

with one comment

The other night I had a dream that my parents and my sister died and naturally, I was devastated. I was crying so hard that I couldn’t breathe properly and I was so weak that I couldn’t hold my head up so I was crying with my head of the table. Then I woke up with my eyes puffy, my throat sore and a feeling of dread, thinking, “What if this dream was true?”

Luckily the first person I saw was my sister and I could breathe again. I told her my story and she laughed in my face.

How on earth did I dream such a thing? How did my subconscious conjure such a horibble dream? Do dreams even come from the subconscious? Freud says that dreams are that “royal road to the unconscious”. Meaning that dreams are preview the thoughts of the unconscious mind, which apparently lies underneath both “consciousness” and “preconsciousness” and is made up not of all that is not conscious, but of everything that is supressed from conscious thought. This then suggests that I have been repressing thoughts of death of some of the closest people in my life.

In this instance, I don’t think I’ve suppressed it because my mum always tells me off for not being able to cook. She’s always saying, “What’s gonna happen when I die, huh? How are you gonna feed yourself? How about when you have a family? How are you gonna feed them?”

To which I smugly reply, “I’ll hire a cook.” She and my daddy are also hardworking, one of the reasons being so that if they die, I won’t be stranded with their debts. So it’s not as if these thoughts are supressed, because they are constantly brought up by my mother. I’m just unwilling to contemplate it.

However, my sister’s only 17, and I know death is not directly correlated with age, but it is correlated nonetheless. But her youthfulness has deterred me from associating death with her, which I guess is a form of suppression.

Another theory is that dreams are reliving emotions past felt … Quote Burdach: “The waking life, with its trials and joys, its pleasures and pains, is never repeated; on the contrary, the dream aims at relieving us of these… (Well my parents and sister are alive, so this can’t be true)

…or gives us a moment’s solace by giving us a total distraction… Even when our whole mind is filled with one subject, when our hearts are rent by bitter grief, or when some task has been taxing our mental capacity to the utmost, the dream either gives us something entirely alien (I wasn’t racked with grief in my waking life, though the actual dream made me devo, I wasn’t stressed. I was tired?)

or is confused and displays a union of reality, fantasy and a touch of technicality. …or it selects for its combinations only a few elements of reality; or it merely enters into the key of our mood, and symbolizes reality.” (So symbolically, I am terrified of loss, but most people are, right?)

Suppression is beyond consciousness, suggesting that individuals are unaware of traumatic memories and experiences they long ago laid to rest. So in conclusion, I had a traumatic experience of loss in my childhood and this experience has come back to haunt me years later in dream form.

But what is a dream in the first place? An outlet? A way of our soul manifesting itself? Is it evidence of a soul? So, then animals don’t dream? Maybe another blog?


Written by Candice

August 25, 2008 at 7:04 pm

Posted in Contemplate.

One Response

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  1. awwwwwwww its love


    September 16, 2008 at 11:22 pm

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